When an already-full life gets even fuller
I’m a Gen X woman in midlife, when aging begins to feel less theoretical and more of a day-to-day reality. But I’m not always sure “aging” is the word that best captures how this moment feels.
Aging sounds gradual and linear. Perimenopause can feel anything but. For me, it arrived in the middle of an already very full life. There’s work I care about and am still motivated by. There are two kids who still (sometimes) need me and older loved ones whose needs are changing. There are relationships, responsibilities and all the practical and emotional things that somehow need to keep moving.
And then my body decided to join the conversation.
Sleep has become elusive. I am achy for no apparent reason. My body temperature seems to have developed a mind of its own. Energy and emotions can be unpredictable. And there are moments when I’m in the middle of a conversation, making a point or trying to concentrate on a task and realize that … well, the point – or the word – is… nowhere to be found.
My experience isn’t every woman’s experience, and perimenopause and menopause can show up very differently. But for many of us, they show up while everything else is still happening. And we’re largely expected to keep everything moving while we figure it out.
The workday doesn’t happen in isolation
This has made some of the findings from our Life After 50 research feel particularly personal.
One of the ideas we’ve been exploring is that thriving as we age is about much more than simply being healthy or financially secure. It is also about agency, connection, purpose, vitality and dignity – and having an environment around us that makes it possible to keep participating in the things that matter. That resonates because the boundaries between work, health, family and caregiving aren’t nearly as tidy in practice as they are in theory.
A terrible (or non-existent) night’s sleep comes with you to that morning meeting. A kid’s activity or parent’s appointment sits beside a client deadline. The mental load of family life doesn’t disappear when the workday starts. And our desire to do great work, grow, contribute and be taken seriously doesn’t diminish just because personal responsibilities or health changes intensify.
That’s why menopause matters in the workplace – not just because of what women are experiencing, but because of how workplaces respond, and whether women feel comfortable talking about it and asking for support.
There is a pretty significant gap
Our data suggest I’m far from alone in feeling the impact. Among employed women 50+ who have experienced or are experiencing perimenopause or menopause, 58% agree that menopause-related symptoms can make it harder to perform effectively at work.
But only 36% say they would feel comfortable raising menopause-related needs in their workplace. And just 14% believe their workplace has meaningful supports in place for employees experiencing menopause. Nearly half (49%) actively disagree that those supports are there.
And that disconnect matters. If women recognize that menopause symptoms can affect their experience at work but don’t feel comfortable talking about it, silence shouldn’t be mistaken for everything being “fine”.
Along with the myriad symptoms, peri-/menopause can bring a whole lot of vulnerability – and plenty of mental gymnastics to go with it. Will this change how I’m seen? Will my value be called into question? Who will understand? Is it okay to talk about or explain something this personal at work?
For women who have spent decades building their professional credibility, those aren’t insignificant questions. And this is where psychological safety becomes much more than feeling comfortable speaking up in a meeting. It’s knowing you can say I need something without worrying that you’ve somehow said I’m “less than” – less resilient, adaptable, engaged or effective.
At the same time, psychological safety also means having the right not to disclose. Nobody should have to narrate intimate details of their health or personal lives in order to access reasonable flexibility or support.
Women are already doing a lot of the adapting
Another interesting finding: Women currently experiencing perimenopause or menopause are more likely than women reporting no menopause experience to say they’re using mental-health supports (17% vs. 8%) and sleep supports or tools (23% vs. 10%).
We can’t (and shouldn’t) assume menopause is causing those differences. But it does suggest that women navigating this transition may also be managing broader health and wellbeing needs and actively finding resources to help themselves through it.
That sounds familiar…
We research. We make appointments. We try different things. We compensate for bad nights. We figure out what helps and what doesn’t. We keep going. There’s resilience in that. But “women are resilient” can’t be the workplace strategy. I think many women have spent a lifetime internalizing some version of I can handle it. Independence matters to us. Competence matters. But needing some understanding or flexibility at a particular moment doesn’t suddenly make us less independent – or less competent.
And this is where our broader Life After 50 work really hits home for me: agency isn’t the same thing as being left to manage everything alone.
Maybe what we need most is a little more humanity at work
That doesn’t mean turning managers into menopause experts or assuming every woman in midlife is struggling. And menopause shouldn’t become another – and defining – label attached to women at an age when many of us are doing some of the most interesting and impactful work of our careers.
What we do need is awareness, empathy, flexibility, connection and psychological safety. A manager who doesn’t flinch (or flee!) when the subject comes up. A workplace where needing some flexibility after a terrible night’s sleep doesn’t quietly affect how committed you’re perceived to be. Benefits and health information that reflect women’s midlife needs. The ability to adjust how and when work gets done without having to make an enormous case for it.
Ultimately, these are the kinds of things that make workplaces better for everyone, not just women navigating peri-/menopause. And connection matters too. Sometimes simply realizing I’m not the only person going through this can make an experience feel considerably less isolating. Our broader Life After 50 research found that 83% of Canadians 50+ feel connected to people who matter to them, yet 37% still report feeling lonely at least sometimes. Those things can coexist. We can have people around us and still feel quite alone in something we’re carrying – particularly when we don’t feel able to talk about it.
That doesn’t mean organizing mandatory menopause conversations and committees (!), but rather creating opportunities for women to connect, share experiences and find support if they want to. I’m still figuring much of this out myself. And maybe that’s why this topic feels so personal. I don’t want this stage of women’s lives framed entirely around decline. But I don’t particularly want the glossy midlife reinvention! version either. My own experience is much messier than that, and it often feels like a roller-coaster.
I can feel capable and completely depleted. Determined and stretched. Independent and still occasionally in need of support (and might I add that I’m usually horrible at asking for the latter!). Some days I feel very much like myself; other days my body seems to have missed that memo. And sometimes… all of those things are true at once. And maybe that’s what workplaces need to get better at understanding. Women shouldn’t have to become invisible about what they’re experiencing in order to remain visible professionally.
Supporting women through perimenopause and menopause isn’t about lowering expectations or treating us as fragile. It’s about creating enough understanding, flexibility and trust that women can continue to contribute and thrive through a normal – and very real – stage of life. Perhaps the first step is simply acknowledging what women are going through, rather than expecting them to quietly figure it all out on their own. For those of us living through the crowded middle right now (I feel you!), that feels like a pretty good place to start.
